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self love and accountability.

  • misokuhlezondi1
  • Feb 13, 2024
  • 2 min read

 I used to be such a  fun ,spontaneous and bubbly person but I  genuinely lost that side of myself long ago  sad to say but it was like seeing a colorful picture  go grey and that was definitely  me.  I lost my faith but I didn't blame anyone I blamed myself because  I let myself go, I lost my voice, my ability to express my feelings and things that upset me I felt like I was in a dark hole and that what we call depression.  

During my time  pain i took a step back and allowed myself to understand  why these emotions and why the hurt and  why am i so hard on myself and why all the dark thoughts  I then came to a realization  that  for me to heal I need to love myself  I need to   surround myself  with healing  energy and  that's  where it all changed  I called  upon God first  and  seeked help. It was hard  because i hadn't prayed for months but i did it and that helped with rebuilding  my confidence  and strength and my relationship  with God.
 
I'm not going to lie being an overthinker doesn't make it easy  and I  still struggle  with  alot of set back  and i fight going to that space all the time but im so thankful to my friends because  the smile and laughs i get from them i dont think they understand  how much that heals me.
 I just want  people who go through  these things to talk about it and not be ashamed .   But also I want them  to know   they shouldnt allow themselves  to being a dark space  for a long time cause life doesn't wait for you to pick up your feet it doesn't you have to do it on your own, I always tell myself  that happiness  starts within and  you shouldn't see the worst in everything  while doing what make you feel peace. 
Spread as much love as possible  and  leave some for yourself  it's also okay to  take steps back and regroup but always be kind to yourself.
 Xoxo 

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